


without you (l.r.h au)

by hiorheyhailey



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Ashton Irwin - Freeform, Calum Hood - Freeform, F/M, Kidnapping, Love Interest Luke, Mystery, cop ashton, ex calum
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 11:46:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18120182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiorheyhailey/pseuds/hiorheyhailey
Summary: Luke Hemmings might be the only one able to solve Gwen's brother's disappearance. Being the last person to see him, and the only person to have contact with him.  For Gwen, this is the end of the world. She isn't good with strangers, let alone ones who hold the key to where her brother is.





	1. prologue

I'm stuck. Stuck so far down and so far under, no one will hear me scream. Hear me kick, and cry, and flail around for help. Because someone is holding me under. I can't tell if I'm choking on my own sobs, or water, or something else. Spots cloud my vision. And finally, I let go. My body sinks even lower. My breathing comes to a halt. My heart that I once heard in my ears completely stops. And then I hear it.

"Happy Birthday Gwenny!" My younger brother is jumping up and down on my bed, waking me up from my dream. His curls are matted to his forehead, and I can tell he's only just woken up. "Good Morning to you too, Gus." I brush the hair from his face, and pull him down next to me. His smile doesn't fade, and stretches even further than I thought it could. "How old are you today, Gwenny?" He asks, tapping his fingers across my face. They're cool compared to the heat on my cheeks from my night terror. "I'm Twenty today, Bug." I smile. I know I seem ancient to his six-year-old mind. "You can vote?" He asks. I bust out into laughter, and sit up. His grin still radiates, and lights up the whole room. "I could vote two years ago, silly." I laugh. He hides under the covers. "Can't go to school today, Gwenny. It's a holiday." I pull them off, and him up. "Come on bug, you know it's not. Besides, you told me you've got a reading test today." I open the curtains, and begin to get dressed. Gus still hasn't moved. "Incriminated myself. Didn't I?" He jokes, before sliding out. "I'll wear my suspenders today. Gotta look my best for your birthday dinner." I hear the little pitter patter of his feet disappear and his door shut.

Gus has lived with me for the last three years. Mom dropped him off, and didn't come back. No one was surprised though. Least not me. Dad croaked, I moved out, and she turned to drugs. Haven't seen her since, and the only contact we've had is the child support she's sent me since I became Gus' legal guardian. I never dwell on it, because nothing makes me happier than him. Soon as I'm dressed I find him brushing his teeth in the bathroom. His bowtie is lopsided, but he's got his suspenders and slacks on. I fix it, before joining him. "You look very fancy, Augustus." I say, spitting the toothpaste into the sink and putting our toothbrushes back. He races me to the kitchen, and swallows. "I'm sorry for the mess, Gwenny. I made you cereal though." He holds up the bowl proudly, and pushes the cereal away from the ground with his foot. "I'll clean it up. Promise." I take the bowl from him, and set it down on the table. The roll of paper towels is undone, and the majority of them are sopping up his spilled milk. "It's okay. Eat with me." I pull out the box of waffles from the freezer, and pop them in the toaster. When I look over, he's dumping the spilled cereal in the trash can. "Thank you for breakfast." I smile. I throw the soaked paper towels away, and pull his waffles from the toaster.

"Happy Birthday Gwen!" Jonah yells, soon as I'm punching in my clock in number. I push him from my view, and tie my apron on. "It's a happy birthday indeed. Especially you only scheduling me until two." I grin. He shrugs, and places a card in my pocket, along with a lollipop. "Least I can do. Especially when Gus begged me to let you pick him up from school. Said he's tired of taking the bus here." He pats me on the back before going back to the kitchen.

My first customer is a man by himself. Older, reading a newspaper, and stares at my ass when I walk away. He tips well. Second, and old couple, holding hands from across the table, calling each other "dear", tips decently. Third, someone my age. Blonde, Australian, curly hair.

And on my break I don't expect to be making out with him in the bathroom. Sink pushing into my ass, my hand print stained on the mirror. And I don't expect Jonah to be banging on the door, telling me I'm cut. "So uh, I'm guessing you've gotta go now?" The aussie asks, stepping away from me. "Yeah. Gotta go pick my little brother up. Could I get your number? Possibly your name?" I ask, pulling my notepad and a pen from my apron. He scribbles a messy "Luke" down, along with a number I only recognize as foreign. "And you're gonna pay for long distance calls and text?" I grin, sliding off of the counter. He shrugs, and I exit the bathroom before him, careful that Jonah won't see.

The staff at Gus' school stare at me like I've got three heads. And when I start to sign him out, his name is already on the list. Next to it, "Luke Hemmings- Uncle. 12:15 pm"


	2. one

I staple the missing person poster to the lamp post, and put my hood back up. No one has had any luck finding this Luke Hemmings, and no one knows why the school was compelled to release Augustus into his care. He's been gone five days. I haven't been to work, I haven't slept, and I've hardly eaten. The house feels too empty- I've been sleeping on the couch at Jonah's place.

I keep replaying the day in my mind. Spilled cereal, crooked bow tie, almost late to school. Hookup with mystery man, and then trying to pick up Gus from school. The secretary told me she thought there was an emergency. At least the guy told her it was an emergency. She told the police he was a red head. No taller than 5'10, and medium build. He wore sunglasses. That's all she could remember. Augustus didn't recognize him. He told her they had only met a few times, when Augustus was little.

And I can't stop thinking about the Australian at work, who's name was coincidentally Luke. My gut tells me they're somehow connected- but the police say no way, he doesn't match the description of the suspect. Still, I can't help but find myself dialing his phone number. It only takes a few rings before he answers, his voice dry and raspy. "Hello?" He asks. I swallow, and quickly hang up. I don't know why my courage is so short lasting. I don't know why I even called him in the first place. He calls back, and I freeze up. I press the answer. "Hi, I'm sorry. My name is Gwen and we met at Blue's last week." I say almost all at once to prevent me from breaking up. He's silent for a moment, and then "Are you Gwendolyn James?" My body stiffens up, and I grip my phone tighter. "I am. How'd you know?" I'm growing more suspicious by the minute, and I take a seat at a nearby bench. "I got a weird phone call last Thursday. Said I needed to find you. Something about your little brother? Anyways, I just figured they had the wrong number, so I hung up. But now I'm feeling like this isn't some crazy coincidence." He says. I think I stop breathing. "What about him?" I manage to choke out. I hear shuffling in the background. "I wrote it down, just in case it meant something. Oh, he'd be at Gotham West Market. In Hell's Kitchen. 2 pm." I glance at my watch. It's a quarter to one now. "Listen, Luke. I know you don't know me. But my little brother, Augustus? He was kidnapped last Thursday. Some guy called Luke Hemmings. I'm in Queens, are you closer to Hell's Kitchen?" Oh god, I hope so. "Wait, I don't understand." He hesitated. "Gwen.. I'm Luke Hemmings. I haven't seen your brother. I live in the East Village. I'll go, okay? You can meet me there, send me a picture of what he looks like." And then click. The line goes dead.

I don't know what to say- or what to think. Nothing makes sense anymore.

I feel like my bottom's glued to the bench, and I can't move. My legs don't work. Won't work. I glance at my watch again, and five minutes have passed already. I pick myself up and begin to walk to the subway. Slower than I should be. It takes over an hour to get to Gotham West Market. I'm not going to make it by two. There's no way. I spot Luke's curls, he's sitting on a bench, his hair tied back, and sweat dripping down his forehead. "Fuck, Gwen. I saw him. For a few seconds. Soon as I approached him, this fuckin' ginger snatched him up. I chased them. A few good blocks until he tossed him in a van." He says, staring at me. I sit down next to him. "Did he look okay?" I ask. Luke rubs his face and nods. "Yeah, he had a coat on and everything. But I could tell he was scared. I just, I don't want you getting the wrong idea. I don't know anything about you or your brother, and I don't know why someone with the same name as me kidnapped him. But I sure as hell am ready to figure it out." I bite my lip, and before I know it, I'm sobbing. "My entire world just came crashing down around me, and apparently the only person who can pick up the pieces is an Australian man I hooked up with last week." I cry. Luke attempts to comfort me, rubbing my back gently. "Gwen, I don't think we're strangers anymore. Maybe not strangers at all. We've got to go through everything. Everyone we've met, everywhere we've been." He says. I nod and bite my lip. Every bone in my body tells me he's not as foreign as I once thought.


	3. two

"You're sure you don't want anything to eat?" Luke asks, pulling a twenty from his wallet and tossing it on the table. "Yeah. It's hard to eat these days." I mumble, taking a sip of my coffee. "My entire world revolved around Augustus, and now he's gone." I shrug. Luke smiles sympathetically. "Not for long. We'll find him, or the cops will find him. What are they saying, anyway?" The waitress comes by and picks up the check. I play with my spoon, and sigh. "Nothing good. Just trying to find a motive. It's not money or human trafficking as far as they can tell. And they can't find any correlation between us." Luke's expression softens, and he swallows. "Well not yet. Right?"

It seems like my mom is the hardest person to get ahold of. The police haven't seen her. Her friends haven't seen her. And her number goes straight to voicemail. If I didn't know any better, I'd report her missing too. Gus has been missing two weeks. "Gwen, I have to show you something." Luke says, pulling my phone out of my hand. "But you've gotta be strong? Okay? Because you freaking out, isn't going to find him any faster." I blink, and sit down on a bus bench. "You're scaring me, Luke." I say. He sits next to me, and unlocks his phone, and shows me a text from a blocked number. One photo, three words. GIVE HIM UP. A photo of a man with his eyes scratched out. I reach for his phone, and scan the photo over and over again. "I- I don't get it." I mumble, zooming in and out. "You think it's from the people who have Augustus?" I ask. Luke shrugs, and taps back into his inbox. Another unknown number. Three more words. HIM FOR HIM. One more photo. A smiley photo of Augustus biting into an ice cream sandwich. He looks uncomfortable. But not scared. I run my fingers over the photo, and swallow. "He's not wearing his clothes. They fit but they're not his clothes. They're taking care of him, Luke. W-why are they taking care of him?" My grip tightens around his phone, and Luke sighs. "You can't over analyze this. We've just gotta tell the police. Tell the police and they'll figure it out."

"Luke, the police know half as much as we do. I think they want us to make a trade. Can you text back? No, that's a stupid question. Can't text back a blocked number." My words rush together, and I stand up. "They've probably been following us. Know we've been investigating. They're probably here now." I scan the busy street, but it's too hard to identify one person from the next. "We find him, we find them, we find Augustus." I can hear my heartbeat in my head, and I'm stumbling around. "Oh my god Luke. He's probably so close- and we're so stupid." I choke out. Luke stands up quickly, and steadys me. "Gwen, I told you that you can't freak out. I'll send the picture to my mom, do you have any photo albums? We can look through them, together."

An hour later we're sitting on the floor in my room, going through old photos. Luke holds up a picture of me from 2013. I've got these blue streaks in my hair, a dozen ear piercings, and look like a racoon. "Stop." I wrestle it from his hands and stare at it "I was 15. Still in school. My mom dropped Augustus off at my apartment the summer after this." I sigh, and toss it in the bin. "And look. Straightened myself up real quick." I pull a photo from 2014 out and show him. Normal red hair. Normal amount of piercings. A two year old Augustus standing on my lap. "You guys looked really happy." He says, taking it in his hand. "This is when you had to drop out?" I nod. Luke frowns, and puts it back in the book. "You shouldn't have had to raise a baby at 16." He says. I shrug, and put the album away. "No one else would have taken care of him. Nobody took care of me." I say, before sliding a picture from the pocket of one of my grandma's old albums. Dad. "Luke- Let me see that picture." I say. He hands me a phone, and I compare the two. They're the same pictures. My dad's senior portrait. Circa '94. "Christopher Robert James." I read off the back. Luke stares over my shoulders. "No way, you've got a photo of Uncle Chris." He says, before grabbing the photo album. "You've got loads of photos of Uncle Chris." I swallow, and put the photo back. Luke stares at me silently. I smile softly, and stand up. "Luke, that's my dad. I think we found our link." I mutter. I sit down on the edge of my bed, and Luke begins to pace in front of me. "You said- you said your dad is dead. Uncle Chris was at our barbeque last summer." He says. I stare at him, and shake my head. "No way. Luke he died four years ago. Your uncle and my dad must just look alike." I know it's a lie. Luke knows it's a lie. He stops, and stares at me. I run my fingers through my curls. "Gwen, you can't just keep dismissing things as coincidence. Besides, he's not my real uncle. Him and my dad are real good friends. He's been coming around since I was like, five. Every summer." Luke's right. My dad is his Uncle Chris. He's also alive. When he gets ahold of his parents, they don't have much to say about my father. They don't know where he goes in the off season, and they're expecting him to visit in the coming weeks. They didn't know he was married. They didn't know he had kids. He kept everything a secret. Luke tells me he has to make another call, and he leaves the room.

"We're going on a road trip." He says, picking his keys off of the table by the door. "My friend Ashton? He's a cop in Albany. Also does private investigating on the side. I haven't seen him in awhile, but he'll help."


	4. three

My dad sits on the couch, screaming at the TV. The Giants are losing, 25-13. His curse words fill the apartment, and mom scolds him from the kitchen. "Not in front of Gwen!" She giggles. They're both drunk, dad a little less. "Ain't nothing she hasn't heard before, Luce!" He yells back. Mom stares at him through the archway. Hand on her hip, frying pan in the air. "If I wanted someone to be flip, I would have had a son!" And this is how every fight starts. Dad isn't yelling at the TV anymore. He's quiet, staring at my mom. "Come on Luce. We don't have to fight like this every night." I look up from my spot on the floor, and roll my eyes. "Don't let me stop you." I mutter, standing up. Dad is red in the face, almost fuming. "You know Lucinda? Gwen's gonna be out of this house in 6 years, and all she's dealt with is us screaming." He stands up to face her, and she chucks the frying pan at his head. It misses by an inch. He doesn't do anything, and I leave to my room.

"Gwen?" Luke asks, shaking me lightly. "Gwen we're at Ashton's apartment. Time to wake up." I open my eyes, and it's completely dark out. The only light comes from a rusty street lamp. I rub my eyes, and move the seat up. Luke opens my door for me, and hands me my jacket. "Sorry, I know the ride is long. But I really do think he can help us." We make our way up the stairs and to Ashtons apartment. Music booms from the inside, and I can't help but think that 8pm is a little early for a party to be in full swing. Luke knocks a few times, but no answer. He swings to door open, and we enter. It's not a party. The apartment is fairly empty, save for the hoots and hollers coming from the kitchen. Three guys are crowded inside, making pizzas.

"Uh. Hey guys." Luke slides his hand in his pocket, and grins. Every one of them stops, and stares. "Holy shit! Look at your hair!" And of course, he's australian. I hear him before I see him. Calum sucks the pizza sauce off of his finger, and stares at me. "Gwen? You and Luke are together?" He asks, eyes wide. I stare at Luke, and laugh. "No way. He's helping me. I didn't even know you guys knew each other." I shrug. Luke looks confused. The other guys look confused too. "Ohh. Calum's my old bo-" I start. Calum interrupts me. "Boss. Gwen used to work for me. Remember that restaurant I managed last year? Gwen was a waitress."

He's not lying. "So, why are you guys here?" He asks. Luke shuffles, and looks towards me. "I um- Well Luke said Ashton could help me? He's a cop, or whatever." I say. A brunette looks towards me. "I was. Not anymore." He says, before rinsing his hands off. "Anyways, what do you need help with?" He dries his hands, and waits for me to answer. He's not friendly. "My little brother went missing two weeks ago. And we've been getting- Luke's been getting these weird messages." I say. He nods his head, before leading us into the living room. "Oh, and the one with the pink hair is Michael." He announces. I give Michael a small wave, before sitting down on the couch next to Luke.

We tell Ashton everything. It's easy to. He writes everything down, and runs his fingers through his curls. "I'll uh- try and find out where your Dad is. It'll be easy to track him down. I can give you a call tomorrow or Friday?" He suggests. I nod, and stand up. I don't realize I'm holding Luke's hand until Calum stares at us, and quickly, I let go of it. "And in the meantime, do you guys want to stay for pizza?" He asks. I look at Luke, and shrug. "Actually, we're gonna head back to the city. It's like, a three hour drive." He answers. We all say our goodbyes, and I give Calum a small wave as we're leaving the apartment.

"So, Calum's your old boss?" Luke asks, looking over at me from the driver's seat. "Yeah. Before I worked at Blue's. It was like, a year and a half ago. We went on a few dates too. But it was nothing serious." I confess. However, it's almost a lie. Calum was my boss, and we did date, but we dated for a year. It seems wrong to tell Luke the truth, but it also seems wrong to lie to him. "Actually, we dated, like seriously." I mumble. Luke shrugs. "Makes no difference to me. We aren't together. We're just strangers mixed up in this mess."

"Right, we aren't together." I nod, and rest my head against the window. Luke turns the radio up and hums to the Green Day song playing. Before I know it, I'm falling asleep.

I wake up when the car comes to a halt. One that feels permanent. Red and blue flashing lights cloud my vision, and when I look at the clock, it reads 12:09 am. "What happened?" I sit up and roll my window down. Luke's got his head in his hands, and he pulls me away from the window. "Don't look, Gwen." He mutters. "It's sick. I was gonna be sick." He pulls his hands away from his face and looks at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see them zipping up a body bag. "I just drove up on it a couple minutes ago. It just got worse." I can't help but look. But it's not long. A little boy is pancaked into the pavement. Left there, crumpled up, bleeding out like roadkill. "It's not- It's not Augustus." I can feel the bile rise in the back of my throat, but I shove it down. Luke's phone buzzes. A picture of Augustus in the backseat of a car, IT COULD HAPPEN TO HIM.

But this time the number isn't blocked. It's a New Jersey number. Before Luke can protest, I'm ripping his phone from his hands, and calling it.


	5. four

"Gwen, come on." Luke's reaching for his phone, but I push him away. Three rings, and then finally an answer. "Luke?" A man asks. He's older- and doesn't sound surprised. Which all my knowledge stemmed from criminal minds, tells me this was planned. "No. Not Luke." I say. "Luke, is driving. This is Gwen. Where the fuck is Augustus?" I don't mean to raise my voice- I don't mean to yell. "Hi Gwen. Augustus is asleep. He's fine, fed. Where are you? Did you see him?" I grip the phone tighter in my hand. I don't want him to say Augustus's name. I don't want him to even think about Augustus. "What sick game are you playing? You killed a little boy for what?" Luke mumbles for me to put him on speakerphone, so I do. "I didn't kill him. If he died, it isn't my fault. This isn't a game. I've made it clear what I want."

Click. The line goes dead. "You shouldn't have called the number." Luke pulls his phone out of my hands. "That's exactly what he wanted. You've gotta think about this, Gwen." Luke turns the car back on, and turns around. He's right. As long as we follow this guy's plan, we have no angle. We're falling right into his trap. "You shouldn't be involved in this either. But he asked for you." I throw my head against the window, and close my eyes.

In a perfect world, Augustus would be nothing more than my little brother. Mom would still be around, sober. Dad wouldn't have a secret life in Australia. I'd be in college- not a high school dropout. I'd probably be in a serious relationship. But this isn't a perfect world. I'm alone in it. My mom is missing. My dad is fake dead. Augustus has been stolen. Luke isn't some random customer.

I'm still racking my brain in an attempt to figure out why Luke was in my restaurant that day. Out of all places, all days, all hours, he was at my restaurant. He said it was coincidental— just fate. But I don't believe in fate anymore.

"You're taking me home now, right?" I murmur, squinting at the dull streetlamps. Luke turns his blinker on, and I hear him sigh. "We can't just stay at my place tonight? Yours is gonna be like, a half hour longer. We're both tired." He suggests lightly. I turn to him, and think about if for a moment. "Sure. I could walk to work from your house anyways." I shrug. "You're still working?" He asks, pulling into his garage. I can't help but laugh. "You're the only one here with a mysterious income. Can't pay my rent if I don't work. And I want Augustus to come back to a home."

"I could help you pay your rent, you know." Luke says, opening his front door for me. "I mean, so you could take off work and focus on finding Augustus." Luke sets his keys down on the coffee table, and takes me jacket. "No, I couldn't possibly ask you to do that Luke- you've got your own expenses and as far as I can tell, no job." I sit down on his couch, and pat the spot next to me. "It'd just be one month, and it's the least I can do. You deserve the ability to put time into Augustus. And I have job." He mumbles the last part, and sits next to me. "Oh yeah? What do you do, Mr. Hemmings?" I gross my arms and stare at him. "I.. write music." He shrugs. "Like, for real. I write music and sell it." I blink. "And you make enough money to like.. Live off of?" He nods, and reaches for the remote. "Comfortably, at that. Do you wanna watch a movie? Or if you're too tired I'll show you the guest room now." He shrugs. I swallow, and pry the remote from his hands. "I'll just sleep on the couch. And yeah, lemme pick."

I don't sleep on the couch. I sleep in Luke's bed, on his egyptian cotton sheets, I don't know how I ended up here, clothed, but tangled in his arms. When I look at the clock, I realize it's seven. Seven a.m when I'd drag Augustus out of bed. Seven, when I'd pop waffles in the toaster for him, help him get dressed, brush his hair. Soon it'll be eight- almost missing the bus, eight. Running the two blocks to his school, eight. Barely making it before the bell, eight. I close my eyes, and before I know it, drift back to sleep.

"Gwen?" Mom drapes her palm across my forehead. "Oh Gwen, I just knew something was off. You're burning up." She furrows her brows together, and I push her hand off. "Where-Where's Gus?" I ask. She stares at me, and places her hand back over my head. "Who's Gus? Everyone's here." She looks at me worried. I sit up in my bed, and swallow. "Augustus, Mom." I blink. "My little brother?" She continues to look puzzled, and I stare in the mirror.

That's not me. Well it is me, only 7 years younger. Brand new nose ring and blue hair. Augustus isn't here. But Mom and Dad are. "You really are sick baby, huh? I'll get the thermometer and have Dad make an appointment for you at the walk in, you could have that new flu that's going around."

When I drag myself out of bed, I realize we're still in our house. No eviction. My room is covered in all time low and sleeping with sirens posters. I'm skinny, the depressed-never eats- skinny. I rub my eyes, and stare in the mirror again. Wake up Gwen. This isn't your life- it never was.


End file.
